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Keywords:

• Yayyyyyyyyy! It's me! Ta-da!

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• I got up and left his place at 3am

Comment: because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.

Description: dragonrising

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• I just kept eating

Comment: and watching him slide down the stairs head first

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• Look get the dick out ur mouth

Comment: and answer the phone

Description: dragonrising

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• I gave him blue balls

Comment: & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• I'm passing your future prison.

Description: dragonrising

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• I'm gonna get drunker

Comment: and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table.

Description: dragonrising

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• I'm going to ask really nicely

Comment: for you to un-fuck this situation

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• Who the abstract fuck

Comment: do you think you are?!

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• I remember going home with 2

Comment: i woke up with 4

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• You can’t judge a dick by its balls.

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• I'm so proud of us for not dying.

Description: dragonrising

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• I'm sorry I tried to stab you

Comment: I just really wanted those mozzarella sticks.

Description: dragonrising

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• I hijacked a bellboy cart

Comment: and rolled into the party dancing on it

Description: dragonrising

Keywords:

• i kno its fucked up.

Comment: but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now

Description: dragonrising